i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
