physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
