dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
