Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
