My Higher Power is John Stamos
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
