We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
