What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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