her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
