She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
