you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wish there were birth control emojis
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
