Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
