I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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