drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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