Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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