Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
