Yo dont text me then not text me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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