So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
