If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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