I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
