party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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