Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
