so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
