I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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