I wannas sexs uuuuu
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
