GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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