well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
