A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
