i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
