i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize