So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
