North Korea, Best Korea!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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