Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
