for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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