It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You're like the curious george of whores
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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