But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
