i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
