wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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