Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
