Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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