so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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