Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
