He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
