Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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