At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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