Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
