I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
