I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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