1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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