tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
