You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
