Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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