jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
