you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize
