Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
