is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
