Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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