It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My ass is underappreciated
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
