god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
